private high school admission essay

[death4you89]

hình như cứ xinh là được vào hội thảo, năm ngoái mình xấu bị deny application

[thanhmasterip]

Ân học trường nào bên CA thế, mình học Stevenson School :X :X
Mới nhận ra 1 điều là mình mang thiếu nhiều thứ cho boarding school quá, khi nào rãnh thì sẽ viết 1 cái danh sách cho các bạn biết !!!

[itsweetobequeen]

Hi everyone !!
Since I'm new to VA (so glad I joined), I will have to say something bout my background Also, I have so many questions that need to be answered by professionals Okay, here goes my situation (please be patient and read the whole thing, please!!)

Last year I was an exchange student in the US and it has been the best year of my life so far. My family is not rich so we were more than excited to hear that I got the chance of studying abroad in the US. Unfortunately, with little knowledge about how risky it is to be an exchange student, I ended up going back to Vietnam and repeating my 10th year. I know I was immature and I know that I should have been researching more about scholarships and back-up plans. It was terrible to find out I was no longer qualified for scholarships (which are offered by private schools) since the deadline had passed. So, for the next year, 2010-2011, I have to catch the opportunity.

Actually I have never given up on seeking for scholarships, with little hope, though. I got a full-tuition scholarship from Cobham Hall School in UK (but the rest was 20,000 pounds so we couldn't afford it..), half-tuition scholarship from Brookehouse and some more. It hasn't gone any further than that.

Now I have my eyes on 3 private schools in the US:
-Emma Willard (NY)
-Faith Christian Academy (PA)
-Lakeside (seattle, WA)
Please please please give me advice and instructions on how to get a good-enough scholarship (50% or more please) and how to make my essay stand out. I have read all of the related posts but I need more specific info. Also, if anyone out there knows about any great school that generously provides scholarships, please tell me. I beg of you (I know, I'm desperate..T^T)

Thank you all so much for your time and please help me, this post can actually change my life.

FYI, I have some sports and art certifications, my straight-A transcript from last year, my WASL scores, Honor Society, some academic awards from my school... I haven't taken IELTS or TOEFL or SSAT or such. Please help me!!

[sonnguyen93]

Năm ngóai chị Kỳ Bình vào EM đc Full FA, Putney cũng generous,
VVS đã cho rất nhiều hs VN - VVS hỏi chi Hà Giang trên đây bạn à,

[itsweetobequeen]

Okay I will, thank you so much!!

[dangyenkhanh]

You'd better hurry up. It's less than 2 months until the application deadline of most schools (Jan 15th).
How to get good enough scholarships? Most schools have a need-based policy and don't give out merit scholarships. All you need to do is ask your parents to fill out the Parents Financial Statement (available at www.nais.org) and send them to the School and Student Service for Financial Aid in Princeton, New Jersey. SSS computes a family's tuition contribution based upon a standardized calculation nationally accepted by independent schools. Some schools also require additional information be submitted directly to the school as part of the financial aid application packet. As you can see, financial awards are determined upon a family's need. But please keep in mind that most schools are unable to award financial aid to all those applicants who meet their admission criteria and who qualify for financial assistance. Therefore, frankly speaking, applying for financial aid can be a slight setback.
I'm not an experienced writer so I can't speak for admission essays. Please visit the essay section here on VA for further tips. My only advice is: Don't try sell yourself. Just be yourself.
Hope I helped.

[dangyenkhanh]

itsweetobequeen: Sorry to get off topic but are you a Miley Cyrus fan? Just asking.

[Bubble]

Lakeside is a day school and Lakeside do not arrange for host families.
Do you have guardians in Seattle area ?

[itsweetobequeen]

@ Bubble: my aunt lives in CA and my previous host lives in WA. Idk if they could help....
@ dangyenkhanh: OMG no!! I'm an anti-Miley fan instead I just particularly love this song

[Kellie]

"Phó phòng ytế quận" thì dịch thế nào ạ... E sợ viết đại thì kì qá. Anh chị nào prồ cái khoản này giúp e với. E xin hậu tạ ạ

[Truong Thai An]

check your grammar.

[britboybitch]

An dạo này cũng lên VA à. Hihi Khỏe không? Thế quyết định đi Assist chưa đấy hay còn chờ kết quả apply? ^_____________^
@Happylala: I have no idea what you were talking about!
Firstly, HOSA is NOT an activity! or "activities" as you called it! So technically, you need to look up the dictionary for "activity" first.

2- Revise Count and Non-Count Nouns Ex: is the most meaningful activity. Memories are...They have kind hearts
3- Subject-Verb agreement. Ex: everyone in HOSA is very nice. Being in HOSA helps....
4- After that, please correct the Tenses!!! Use past tenses to tell the story hun. Ex: I was taking health classes. Everyone in HOSA was nice. Being in HOSA helped...
5- Because and because of have a big difference...It should be: Because of my interest...
6- Prepositions!!! ..I'm not so sure, are there any?
7- Word choice!!! I think HOSA program helped you realize that you were meant to be an cardiologist. Just a suggestion you know. The point is that you don't need to understand if you want to be someone or not.
8- Comas should be put into right places. Separate long sentences if they can be separated.


You can edit your draft and learn some more at the same time by searching for English materials on the internet or something...If someone fix the whole thing for you, you will never actually get it.




______________BBB________________

[Truong Thai An]

An dạo này cũng lên VA à. Hihi Khỏe không? Thế quyết định đi Assist chưa đấy hay còn chờ kết quả apply? ^_____________^

ơ xin chào mà ai đấy

[blackcabbage1023]

Em đang apply cho HB 100% của Úc ( IDP) Ng` ta có kêu viết một bài essay. Topic là : " Tell me about your aspiration and why you want to study in Australia" Biết là Vietabroader mình chuyên về đi Mĩ nhưng mà e không biết trang web nào được tin tưởng như Vietabroader hết nên mấy anh chị xem dùm em nha. Nếu có sai sót gì thì mấy a/c cứ nói đừng ngại hah . Dạ em cám ơn nhìu nhìu


“ Hey Minh, What do you want to do in the future? “
“Hospitality”
“Why?”
“Because I’m desperately want to”

To a lot of people, the fact that I chose Hospitality as my job is insane. I’m major in Chemistry. Inevitably, that subject needs meticulous skill and good intellectual ability. Oppositely, once you’re involved in Hospitality, it’s crucial to learn how to deal with people in discreet ways. Apparently, these two things aren’t relevant to each other. Therefore, my friends do not think Hospitality is not appropriate for me. Admittedly, I have to be attentive to detail all the time. But it doesn’t mean that I’m rigid. Have to learn with confusing chemical formula doesn’t indicate I’m not versatile when problems arise. Making friends with books and calculators all the time do not give a signal that I’m introverted and have no ability in inspiring my staffs. I’m the one who can choose what job I want. Not the one was influenced by things I did...
Chemistry is an inspiring subject. But I’m afraid I just can’t hold my passion in it for a long time. Besides, I’m a kind of people who easily getting bored. I hate repetition. For me, every day must be brand new and filled with unexpected things. Waking up in the morning, knowing that I have no ideas what today is going to be. How wonderful is that? That’s life for me, so spontaneous and full of surprise! And Hospitality offers me all of that. Being a manager, I am entitled to be a lot of people: a receptionist, a matre’ d. a waiter or a cashier… Because I am their manager, I have to understand the in-depth account of their jobs. What is the better way to understand than do it? Further more, meeting a various kind of people each day makes me more mature, to adapt their character, to use a different etiquette with each of them which suits them the most, and feel excited when meeting a new person. That way, life never bores me.

***

“Hey Minh, Where do you want to study?”
“ Australia”
“ Why?”
“ Because I’m desperately want to”


Have been asked that question a lot of times, my answer still remains the same up to now. Honestly, I have been dreaming about going to Australia long time ago. When I was a little kid, Australia looked so vibrant and natural through the vivid lens of “Finding Nemo” .Till now, to a 16 year-old girl, Australia still remains its unexpressible seduction for her, and even her purpose of going to Australia is quite different now.
Traveling is not the only one purpose for me to go to Australia. I want to go there to study. Its reputation of my major receives wide-spread acclaim in the whole world. But didn’t entirely believe if until I watched MasterChef Australia. There are some petty surprising things besides the heart-breaking eliminations, exotic dishes of the show. One is the founder of the restaurant. I was absolutely dumb-founded they’re not business men, not like in Vietnam. Uncannily, they’re the head chef of that restaurant. Amazed by that fact, I realize that money does not matter much in whether they can launch their own business. They have their passion and always pursue their dream, which eventually did come true. I also have my desire for Hospitality to pursue. With the same circumstance, I believe my dream won’t be out of my reach.
Last but not least, they know almost every famous chef in Australia. That fact is amazing. Honestly, I have no idea even a name of famous chef in Saigon. It points out the familiarity of restaurant in people’s lives. Able to meet my peers, work with professors, and intern in the top-notch restaurants or Hotels will give me lots oh experience. So, with such a good environment like Australia: a neutral friendly country with no wars for me to get along, and most important, a well-developed place for me to study my major.

* * *

“Hey Minh, Could you tell me about your aspiration?”
“Hmmm. I want to study Hospitality in Australia”
“Is that a good combination?” (Gladly they did ask me a different question)
“Yeah! I don’t mind what people think. For me, it is a perfect one.”

To achieve my aspiration, I had to concede a lot of invaluable things: times, money, perspiration … But what I did receive is much more than that. Hospitality teaches me how to be flexible in this hard life. Sometimes, I have to act like I’m happy and indulge my customers like a waiter. Once in a while, I must listen to people and sympathize with them like a consumer watchdog. But occasionally, I need to act harsher to myself and my staffs like a CEO to make sure everything is on track. Dealing with them every day helps me more mature, more confident by learning from them, inspiring my self from their desire, and makes me happy that I can do my jobs everyday. And Australia offers me that perfect environment. Receiving state-of-the-art methods from experienced professors, having a superb circumstance to work and working in the country I love the most give me a tremendous motivation to moving forward. Hotel and restaurant management is not only my job. It is my vocation. Australia is a place where I’m going to study. It’s my dreaming country, where I’m about to accomplish my wish. Pursuing my dream gifts peace in my soul, a smile through a tough day. So right now, while I’m typing this essay, I’m very relaxed although I’ve made a tough decision. However outcome and the result of my application are, I’m not going to regret it. I’ve taken the plunge and I’m on my way to make my dream comes true.

[Kellie]

Em tính apply trườg Peninsula School fải ko?. Chị thấy trườg này cũng tốt nhưng đc học bổg 100% rồi vẫn fải đóg tiền ăn ở chết luôn đấy >"<.
Nếu e apply trường này thì suy ngĩ kĩ nha e. Gluck e

[phuonguyen]

Mình cũng đang định app trường này, nhưng nhìn accom muốn khóc luôn chưa kể tiền sách vs đồng phục, còn camp nữa chứ. Cũng hơi đuối
Anw, chúc bạn may mắn. Mình thì k giỏi ngữ pháp nên k dám sửa. Nhưng mình thấy cách trình bày với lại ndung tương đối rồi đó. Hope so ha

[blackcabbage1023]

Dạ trường Peninsula áh chị . Èo, mình tưởng chỉ cần đóng tiền ăn ở thoy chứ , hic

[phuonguyen]

tren co ban la vay

[ForMe]

Trước hết, em xin lỗi mọi người, em thấy hơi không bình thường vì ở đây ai cũng hỏi về cách viết bài assay rồi mà em còn hỏi nơi luyện thi TOEFL thế nhưng em nghĩ rằng những người đã có trình độ TA đủ để tự tin đi nộp assay như các anh chị sẽ có 1 lời khuyên tốt cho em hơn là những chỗ khác. ( Em cũng phải hỏi nhiều nơi mới biết nên vào web VA để tham khảo ý kiến vì đây là cộng đồng có chung mục đích là đi du học) nên em rất mong các anh chị thông cảm và giúp đỡ em.

Tình hình là em đang cần ôn thi TOEFL iBT gấp trong 1 năm nữa sẽ đi du học. Nhưng TA của em khá non nớt, trước em quan tâm về TA cũng không nhiều nên không biết địa chỉ nào chất lượng hay sách nào hay để mua. Em muốn xin ý kiến của tiền bối như anh chị ở đây.

Em có đọc trên mạng 1 lời khuyên mua sách của 1 chị mà k biết thế nào, xin các anh chị đã sử dụng cho e biết ý kiến:
" Các bạn tìm đọc sách của Princeton Review để xem vài mẫu mà sách này đưa ra. Rất bổ ích và hữu dụng. Princeton Review còn đưa ra các mẫu cho bài nói nữa, cũng rất tốt và phù hợp với bài thi thật.

VỀ SÁCH: Mình không có nhiều thời gian nên mình chỉ dùng sơ qua các sách thôi. Tuy nhiên mình có một vài ý kiến:NẾU BẠN KHÔNG CÓ NHIỀU THỜI GIAN THÌ BẠN NÊN DÙNG CÁC PHẦN MỀM EBOOK ĐỂ HỌC LUÔN. ĐỂ QUEN VỚI FORMAT CỦA BÀI THI THÂT. Không cần dùng sách in trên giấy nữa. - Longman: phần đọc khá hay. Khó hơn của Delta key và hợp với thực tế thi hơn. Nên dùng phần đọc của sách này. Các phần khác mình lướt qua thấy không hay . - Delta key (rất tiếc là không có ebook): phần nghe khó. Nếu bạn nghe được ở Delta key tốt thì chuyện nghe ở bài thi thật không còn vấn đề gì nữa. PHần nói của Delta key có mấy chủ đề ngày xưa có trên bài thi thật hay sao ấy, nhưng mà nói chung là sát với thực tế. Phần viết mình không biết vì không kịp giở đến. - Barron: Sách khó. Với Barron thì nên dùng phần đọc và nghe. Một cách rèn luyện rất tốt. - Sách luyện thi của ETS: tham khảo cho bài nói và bài viết . - The Princeton Review: các mẫu đã được vạch sẵn cho bài viết intergrated task và các bài nói ".

Bố em cũng nói hay là em học ở LanguageLink vì trung tâm này khá nổi tiếng và có uy tín mà em k biết có nên học hay không? Em vẫn thấy trung tâm không chủ đạo phần ôn thi TOEFL như thế này. Xin các anh chị cho ý kiến.

Có gì các anh chị pm ở VA đây hoặc pm em: kem_bong_14@yahoo.com. Em cảm ơn anh chị rất nhiều, cực kì, cực kì.

Em vừa là thành viên cách đây 5' nên không biết có post topic nhầm chỗ không nên xin lỗi mọi người nếu em có viết gì sai sót, mong mọi người bỏ qua và giúp em vụ này. Cảm ơn lắm lắm.
À, EM Ở HÀ NỘI nên xin địa chỉ học ở Hà Nội, rất vui nếu các anh chị tỉnh khác cũng cho em lời khuyên nếu biết. Love all!

[ForMe]

Mọi người ơi, boading school là trường gì vậy ạ? Em nghe nhiều nhưng k hiểu là gì

[adkwon]

Là trường c3 nội trú đó bạn.